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Beating the Market since June 2001

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Sages have been pondering this question throughout the ages.

Click the Question to get the Answer.

Can Money Buy Happiness?

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Here's an interesting little bit of Americana Jim Baker passed on to me:

The Department of Energy was instituted on August 4, 1977 by poor old Jimmy Carter to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. The department now has 16,000 federal employees, 100,000 contract employees, and a budget of $24.2 Billion per year. So it goes…

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Here are a few timely old favorites:

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a man who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him: "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

He replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn.

He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a stockbroker -- he gets a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff? How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; his clients, they prayed!"

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Einstein died and went to his final reward, only to be informed that his room was not yet ready. "I hope you won't mind waiting in a dormitory. I'm very sorry, but it's the best we can do", he was told by the concierge.

Einstein replied this was not a problem. So the bellperson led him to the dorm and introduced him, "Here is your first roommate. He has an IQ of 180!"

"Why that's wonderful!" said Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"

"And here is your second roommate. His IQ is 150!"

"That's wonderful! We can discuss physics!"

"And here is your third roommate. His IQ is 100!"

"We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"

Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last roommate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."

Albert smiled at him and said, "So, where do you think interest rates and the market are headed?"

Usually the joke gets a laugh, but a disturbing number of folks ask me where the market is headed after I tell the joke.

Go figure...